Chopping my story into exactly 30 little bits was harder
than I thought. You have to keep the essence of the story the same, while at
the same time make sure that the new story makes sense on its own and flows
well. You also have to be mindful of you audience in terms of your word choice
and you have to play this balancing act with you absolutely need words for and what (you hope)
can be conveyed with pictures. I ended turning a 3 part story into one part and
cutting a dozen characters. It probably would’ve been easier for me to write a
novel.
New story: It was dark when she woke. The castle was
vibrating with energy. Something
was wrong. The girl’s squire burst into her room.
2. “Sekai,” he said panting, “The royal family, your
parents, your brother,
they’ve been kidnapped by The Evil One!”
3. Sekai rubbed the sleep from her eyes and jumped out of
bed. To get to The
Evil One’s castle she’d have to cross The Lake Of Frozen
Tears.
4. She grabbed a bag of supplies and left the castle. She
was scared but
determined. Walking across The Lake was dangerous but she
had to save her
family. Sekai stepped out onto the ice.
5. She walked for miles, not knowing that something sinister
was following her
beneath the ice.
6. Sekai looked behind her, something had melted all the
ice! There was no way
back. She turned around…
7. BAM! There the ice dragon was, giant and menacing. He
gave a slow, cruel
smile; showing off his hundreds of razor sharp teeth.
8. “The Evil One chained me here 100 years ago,” he growled,
“no one can pass
unless they solve my riddle.”
9. “Deal!” said Sekai
“I am not alive, but
I grow. I don’t have lungs, but I need air. I don’t have a
mouth, but water kills me. What am I?” the dragon growled.
10. Sekai thought long and hard. What could it be? Finally
the answer came to
her.
“Fire!” she said.
The dragon narrowed his eyes.
“Correct,” he growled.
11. Sekai stared at the dragon. She couldn’t just leave him
trapped. She pulled a
pin from her hair and dove underwater.
12. CLUNK! The dragon’s chains dropped from his legs and
sank into the murky
blue depths. The dragon was amazed. Sekai popped back up for
air.
13. “Thank you for freeing me,” it growled, “If you ever
need my help just give me
a call.”
Sekai rode on his back to the gates of The Evil One’s
kingdom.
14. The tall gates slowly creaked open. There he stood. The
Evil One. Fluffy
McPetalbum, the evilest hamster in all the land.
15. “I know why you’re here,” he squeaked, “but I won’t give
you back your
family! I need them out of the way so I can take over your
kingdom!”
16. “I won’t let you do that!” Sekai yelled.
“Oh really?” squeaked Fluffy, “Guards! Get her!”
17. Mini dinos and flying sharks swarmed Sekai. They
attacked her from above
and below.
18. Again and again she was knocked down. Rescuing her
family seemed
impossible. Sekai’s shoulder’s slumped, she stayed on the
ground. Fluffy
smirked at her.
19. “Little girl,” he squeaked “did you really think you
could defeat me?! You are
so small, so weak,so-“
20. As Fluffy talked, Sekai thought. She wasn’t weak, she
was strong, she had
made it this far hadn’t she? And yes she was small, but she
was also brave.
21. And she was smart, smart enough to solve the dragon’s
riddle. She had an
idea.
22. Sekai stood up one last time, on shaking knees, she
locked eyes with Fluffy.
“BLURRRRRRT!” Sekai
shouted.
The sound echoed across The Lake.
23. “Did you-did you just make the ice dragon call?”
squeaked Fluffy.
24. SWOOM! The ice dragon swooped down and plucked Fluffy
from his tiny
throne.
25. The flying sharks and mini dinos ran away. Sekai rushed
to free her family.
26. “I’m so glad you guys are safe,” she said, hugging them.
27. “We are so proud of you,” her dad said, kissing her
forehead.
28. “Thanks for saving me,” mumbled her brother, who
squirmed out of the hug.
29. Sekai had done what she thought she couldn’t do: save
her family.
30. They started on the road back home.
No comments:
Post a Comment