Sat, Apr 25 & Sun, Apr 26

Just finished blogging.

Fri, Apr 24

I AM OFFICALLY A PUBLISHED AUTHOR. I had no idea how satisfying it would be to hold my book in my hands and see my name in print, I kind of doubted that I would be able to create something that I would be proud of and I could feel my expectations lowering as time went on but I can honestly say that I’m proud of my book. It’s not perfect by any means (It’s called Rough Draft for a reason!) but I really like it! And the fact that I did everything myself (except a little editing help from Mr.MB!) makes the book that much more special to me. I am something I didn’t think I would be at the end of my senior project. Content.

Thu, Apr 23

Last day of uniforms was bitter sweet and was more about making memories than doing senior project stuff but I still manage to expand blogs (on paper)

Wed, Apr 22

I’m so excited! And those strawberries were crazy big! But I’m about to be a published author!

Tues, Apr 21

Reflection

When it comes to my writing I have trouble accepting less than perfection (which I’ll never be able to attain) so what I do is delete and rewrite until I either I break down from exhaustion or the deadline approaches. When it came down to the final hour, two pictures I uploaded text wouldn’t appear. I worked for two hours trying to fix this one problem and reuploadded the whole pdf  two different ways and it still didn’t work. Instead of freaking out like I usually would’ve I just let it go, neither pages of text were vitally important to the story and I actually prefer one of the pages blank. I learned that once you’ve done everything you could do, it’s ok to let go and focus your energy on other issues.

   The other major problem was that I couldn’t actually finish publishing my book at school, the government wanted my tax information and since I don’t have my social memorized I had to wait till I got home to finish it. I even called Createaspace up, explaining and they said it was mandatory. Regardless I went to Coldstone to celebrate and ignoring the fact that my Nana implied that if I kept eating ice cream I wouldn’t have friends, my success tasted sweet.

Mon, Apr 20

Reflection

Today was actually really fun, I got a lot of work done and ate pizza and watched The Office. I don’t think I would’ve enjoyed this project half as much if Sydney wasn’t doing a writing project with me, she understands my angst. And I timed myself while inking and the small picture of the dragon took me 11 minutes to ink and the large picture (the close up of his face) took me over 30 minutes. It was tiring, meticulous work but it looks really cool so I’m happy.

Sun, Apr 19

This is literally taking up my entire day but I somehow am still not done. Why is this taking so long?  I have nothing else to say except that I still have to finish painting and start inking and all I want to do is be at the scanning stage so I can have the book in my hands.

Sat, Apr 18

THIS. IS. TAKING. FOREVER. I had no idea that this would take this long, and how many mistakes I would make, do y’all know how hard it is to freehand a hamster? I won’t even trace because  1. I feel like it’s cheating and 2. I’m too stubborn to accept help that way.  I worked all day on this and I’m still not done. And they’re not even amazing drawings! I have so much respect for visual artists now. Ugh. I gotta press on.

Fri, Apr 17

Today was a productive day. It feels freeing to have all the text finalized so I can finally illustrate but at the same time terrifying because I don’t know how to draw. With children’s books the pictures are just as important, if not more than the story, and if mine are horrible then the whole thing is going to be. After looking at some different techniques I think that water colors would be best suited for this project, not only to they give older feel but they don’t take as long as say, oils. Doing this in crayons or marker wouldn’t be the most professional looking. I have a love hate (mostly hate) relationship with watercolors already. They are finicky paints, and they can make the paper warp, and the colors are usually completely different wet than when dry. Plus I’m using water color pencils for the first time though hopefully the learning curve with short and easier to work with than the traditional paint. I’ve tried to push myself while doing this project and working with a new medium is  just another way of doing that.

Story Final: 1. It was dark when she woke. The castle was vibrating with energy. Something

was wrong. The girl’s squire burst into her room.

2. “Sekai,” he said panting, “The royal family, your parents, your brother,

they’ve been kidnapped by The Evil One!”

3. Sekai rubbed the sleep from her eyes and jumped out of bed. To get to The

Evil One’s castle she’d have to cross The Lake Of Frozen Tears.

4. She grabbed a bag of supplies. As she was walking out, she noticed her dad’s

old hunting whistle hanging on a lanyard. She grabbed it and continued out

the door, swallowing the lump in her throat.

5. Walking across The Lake was dangerous but she had to save her family. Sekai

stepped out onto the ice.

6. She walked for miles.

7. Sekai looked behind her. Something had melted all the ice! There was no way

back. She turned around…

8. BAM! There the ice dragon was, giant and menacing. He gave a slow, cruel

smile; showing off his hundreds of razor sharp teeth.

9. “The Evil One chained me here 100 years ago,” he growled, “no one can pass

unless they solve my riddle.”

10. “Deal!” said Sekai

 “I am not alive, but I grow. I don’t have lungs, but I need air. I don’t have a

mouth, but water kills me. What am I?” the dragon growled.

11. Sekai thought long and hard. What could it be? Finally the answer came to

her.

“Fire!” she said.

The dragon narrowed his eyes.

“Correct,” he growled.

12. Sekai stared at the dragon. She couldn’t just leave him trapped. She pulled a

pin from her hair and dove underwater.

13. CLUNK! The dragon’s chains dropped from his legs and sank into the murky

blue depths. The dragon gasped. Sekai popped back up for air.

14. “Thank you for freeing me,” it growled, “If you ever need my help just give me

a call.”

Sekai rode on his back to the gates of The Evil One’s kingdom.

15. The tall gates slowly creaked open. There he stood. The Evil One. Fluffy

McPetalbum, the evilest hamster in all the land.

16. “I know why you’re here,” he squeaked, “but I won’t give you back your

family! I need them out of the way so I can take over your kingdom!”

17. “I won’t let you do that!” Sekai yelled.

“Oh really?” squeaked Fluffy, “Guards! Get her!”

18. Mini dinos and flying sharks swarmed Sekai. They attacked her from above

and below.

19. Again and again she was knocked down. Rescuing her family seemed

impossible. Sekai’s shoulder’s slumped; she stayed on the ground. Fluffy

smirked at her.

20. “Little girl,” he squeaked “did you really think you could defeat me?! You are

so small, so weak,so-“

21. As Fluffy talked, Sekai thought. She wasn’t weak, she was strong, she had

made it this far hadn’t she? And yes she was small, but she was also brave.

22. And she was smart, smart enough to solve the dragon’s riddle. She had an

idea.

23. Sekai stood up one last time. On shaking knees, she locked eyes with Fluffy.

 “BLURRRRRRT!” Sekai blew into her dad’s whistle.

The sound echoed across The Lake.

24. “Did you-did you just make the ice dragon call?” squeaked Fluffy.

25. SWOOM! The ice dragon swooped down and plucked Fluffy from his tiny

throne.

26. The flying sharks and mini dinos ran away. Sekai rushed to free her family.

27. “I’m so glad you guys are safe,” she said, hugging them.

28. “We are so proud of you,” her dad said, kissing her forehead.

29. “Thanks for saving me,” mumbled her brother, who squirmed out of the hug.

30. They started on the road back home.

31. Thank you/ acknowledgements

Thu, Apr 16

I stayed home because my house was supposed to be painted and my mom wanted someone in the house while it was happening, didn’t do anything today.

Wed, Apr 15

Chopping my story into exactly 30 little bits was harder than I thought. You have to keep the essence of the story the same, while at the same time make sure that the new story makes sense on its own and flows well. You also have to be mindful of you audience in terms of your word choice and you have to play this balancing act with you  absolutely need words for and what (you hope) can be conveyed with pictures. I ended turning a 3 part story into one part and cutting a dozen characters. It probably would’ve been easier for me to write a novel.

New story: It was dark when she woke. The castle was vibrating with energy. Something

was wrong. The girl’s squire burst into her room.

2. “Sekai,” he said panting, “The royal family, your parents, your brother,

they’ve been kidnapped by The Evil One!”

3. Sekai rubbed the sleep from her eyes and jumped out of bed. To get to The

Evil One’s castle she’d have to cross The Lake Of Frozen Tears.

4. She grabbed a bag of supplies and left the castle. She was scared but

determined. Walking across The Lake was dangerous but she had to save her

family. Sekai stepped out onto the ice.

5. She walked for miles, not knowing that something sinister was following her

beneath the ice.

6. Sekai looked behind her, something had melted all the ice! There was no way

back. She turned around…

7. BAM! There the ice dragon was, giant and menacing. He gave a slow, cruel

smile; showing off his hundreds of razor sharp teeth.

8. “The Evil One chained me here 100 years ago,” he growled, “no one can pass

unless they solve my riddle.”

9. “Deal!” said Sekai

 “I am not alive, but I grow. I don’t have lungs, but I need air. I don’t have a

mouth, but water kills me. What am I?” the dragon growled.

10. Sekai thought long and hard. What could it be? Finally the answer came to

her.

“Fire!” she said.

The dragon narrowed his eyes.

“Correct,” he growled.

11. Sekai stared at the dragon. She couldn’t just leave him trapped. She pulled a

pin from her hair and dove underwater.

12. CLUNK! The dragon’s chains dropped from his legs and sank into the murky

blue depths. The dragon was amazed. Sekai popped back up for air.

13. “Thank you for freeing me,” it growled, “If you ever need my help just give me

a call.”

Sekai rode on his back to the gates of The Evil One’s kingdom.

14. The tall gates slowly creaked open. There he stood. The Evil One. Fluffy

McPetalbum, the evilest hamster in all the land.

15. “I know why you’re here,” he squeaked, “but I won’t give you back your

family! I need them out of the way so I can take over your kingdom!”

16. “I won’t let you do that!” Sekai yelled.

“Oh really?” squeaked Fluffy, “Guards! Get her!”

17. Mini dinos and flying sharks swarmed Sekai. They attacked her from above

and below.

18. Again and again she was knocked down. Rescuing her family seemed

impossible. Sekai’s shoulder’s slumped, she stayed on the ground. Fluffy

smirked at her.

19. “Little girl,” he squeaked “did you really think you could defeat me?! You are

so small, so weak,so-“

20. As Fluffy talked, Sekai thought. She wasn’t weak, she was strong, she had

made it this far hadn’t she? And yes she was small, but she was also brave.

21. And she was smart, smart enough to solve the dragon’s riddle. She had an

idea.

22. Sekai stood up one last time, on shaking knees, she locked eyes with Fluffy.

 “BLURRRRRRT!” Sekai shouted.

The sound echoed across The Lake.

23. “Did you-did you just make the ice dragon call?” squeaked Fluffy.

24. SWOOM! The ice dragon swooped down and plucked Fluffy from his tiny

throne.

25. The flying sharks and mini dinos ran away. Sekai rushed to free her family.

26. “I’m so glad you guys are safe,” she said, hugging them.

27. “We are so proud of you,” her dad said, kissing her forehead.

28. “Thanks for saving me,” mumbled her brother, who squirmed out of the hug.

29. Sekai had done what she thought she couldn’t do: save her family.

30. They started on the road back home.

31. Thank yous/ acknowledgements

Tues, Apr 14

Reflection:

I gave my characters some background (physical characteristics, personality traits) but after talking to Mr.MB I realized that once again I was taking on too much. I would have to illustrate an insane amount of picture if I wanted to keep my original story so instead it’s time to slash and burn which is saddening. The story is going to change significantly and even though it’s not what wanted it still might be good. I still feel like I’m spinning in circles but now it’s more like a spiral, leading me towards my goal. MB says that my character’s backgrounds and the previous story will make the new one I create better because I have that knowledge but I’m kind of bummed out that the people I’ve created won’t be real in this senior project.

Mon, Apr 13

This is the story I finished writing:

Khari couldn’t stand it anymore. Her hand shot up, the whole class turned and looked at her.

“Ms. April”, she said “ Could you tell us a story?”

Ms. April pursed her lips, she put one hand on her chin tilted her head side to side. Finally she gave a big smile.

“Khari”, she said “Why don’t you tell use a story?”

“Here”, she said, handing her a giant pencil, “You all can tell the story, just hand it to someone else when they have a good idea.”

Khari’s classmates murmured as she walked to the front of the room. Her stomach felt funny, her hands were getting clammy from holding the pencil, and she could feel her cheeks get warm. They were all waiting for her. She turned to look back at Ms. April who gave her a thumbs up. Khari took a deep breath and began.

“It was dark when she woke. The forest behind her was vibrating with energy. Something was wrong. Suddenly a figure burst through the woods. It was the girl’s squire.

“Sekai”, he said, panting, “The prince has been kidnapped! It was the Evil One, he sent you this.”

Sekai held the letter with shaking hands, she opened it and it said…it said”

Khari glanced up at her classmates, she passed the giant pencil over.

“Oliver what did it say?”

Oliver took the pencil, he bit his lip, thinking.

“It said that a Bad Guy had the prince! And unless he got all the gold in the kingdom and all the candy he wasn’t gonna give ‘em back. Ever!

     Sekai was worried. She was small-“

“Wait! How do we know what she looks like?” said Julia.

The class turned Ms.April. She shrugged.

“You guys decide”, she said, laughing.

“Well she’s kinda short” Oliver began.

“And she has hair that’s black like mine but fluffy like my sisters!” said Ajaa.

“She has dimples!” said Julia.

“And freckles!” said Teddy.

“And skin like mine!” said Marco.

“And a sash!” said Jax.

“And”, Becca said “And…super awesome mega LASER EYES!”

Georgie picked up the giant pencil.

“Sekai knew she had to something, but what could she do? She was so small, so young, so weak-

“Here” Sekai’s thoughts were interrupted by the squire handing her a package.

“I know you’re parent’s are out of town on a business trip”, the squire said “but they told me to give you this if the kingdom were ever in trouble. Sekai open the package, inside were supplies and a note form her parents.

“Kai”, it read.

“If there ever was an emergency, we want you to be prepared. We know you can protect the kingdom. We believe in you.

     Love

Ma & Pops”

Sekai found herself nodding in agreement. Yeah. She could do this. She was small but she was also smart, she was young but she was also brave, and when she hoisted that heavy bag onto her back she knew that she was strong.  To get to the valley where the Fluffy One dwelled shed have to enter The Forest of No Return.

“I am going to save my brother”, Sekai said.

The small girl walked into the wood.”

Sailor picked up the giant pencil.

“The forest was dark. The trees were a thousand feet tall and their leaves blocked out all the light. Sekai could hear things skittering about on the forest floor. Suddenly,  she came to a clearing. A giant owl stood menacingly.

“Whooooooooooooooooooo goes there?” he demanded. 

“Sekai Envir” she replied “could you help me get out of here? I’m trying to get to the mountains .”

The owl peered at her with its big, round eyes.

“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that”, he said, crossing his wings, “I’ve been chained here for a 100 years and my job is to stop anyone from going past this forest. But! If you can answer my riddle, then you make walk freely.”

“Deal!” said Sekai.

“Here it is”, said the owl, “I am not alive but I grow, I don’t have lungs but I need air, I don’t have a mouth but water kills me. What am I?”

Sekai thought long and hard. What could it be? A slow smile spread across her face. She knew what the answer was. Sekai crossed her arms.

“You’re fire” she said.

“Whooooaaaat? Yooooou fot it right?” The owl bowed deeply, “You are free to pass.”

Sekai started walking and then turned around.

“I don’t think it’s very fair that you’re trapped here” she said to the Owl.

Quick as lighting Sekai pulled a pin from her hair and picked the lock on the owl’s chains; with a loud CLANK he was free.

The owl was amazed.

“Yooooou have a beautiful heart” he hooted, “whenever you need me, give me a hoot and I’ll come”

With a great gust of wind he rose into the air.

“Thank yooou” he said, as he flew away.

“Thanks!” Sekai said.

She waved at his shadow, and then turned around and walked along, until she found herself at the base of The Mountains of Distress.”

“Here, Archie” Sailor said. Archibald took the pencil. He turned to his classmates.

“And then it was snowing, right? Sekai could see her breath in the air. Smack! She felt a snowball hit her in the face.

“Ouch” she muttered.

She looked up the mountain. She narrowed her eyes. Snow squirrel. The squirrels were just belting her with snowballs. Palp! Smack! Slap! Sekai’s cheeks burned and there was ice in her eyes.

“Why are you doing this?!” she yelled.

The squirrels chittered at her, “The Terrible One made it clear that you have to be stopped here!”

So that’s why they were being so annoying! Sekai gritted her teeth, she would NOT be stopped by some silly squirrels. The higher she climbed the mountain, the bigger the snowballs they threw at her became. Sekai kept getting knocked down but every time she did she stood back up. The squirrels started going faster, they were a blur of fluffy white and blue. A snowball half her size was coming right at her head! Sekai narrowed her eyes and ZAP! Blasted it away with her laser beams. The squirrels stopped an looked at each other, worried. They made  a snowball the size of a car and hurled as hard as they could. Sekai was ready for it. She blasted it with her laser eyes and Thunk! Someone who was frozen in the snowball fell out!”

Archibald passed the giant pencil to Teddy.

“And then Sekai carefully unfroze the person more. It was a boy! Who was half robot! He appeared to be asleep so she poked him.

“Dude”, she said, giving him a poke “hey, dude, buddy-“

WHIRRR. Sekai had clicked a button! Lights flashed, gears moved. The boy’s eyes popped open, she could hear the mechanical buzz of them focusing. The boy stood up.

“01001000 01101001 00001010” he said.

“Um, what?” said Sekai

“Hi”, said the boy “I’m Tr3v0r”

They walked together until they reached the top of the mountain. There, at the peak, they saw the last obstacle between then and their goal. The Lake of Frozen Tears.”

Lailey grabbed the giant pencil.

“And then the pair made their way down the mountain, and stopped in front of the lake. Sekai carefully pressed a toe don the ice and slowly put her weight on it. It held. They started walking on the ice. Slipping and sliding but pulling one another up before either of them fell. They made it half-way across the lake, not knowing that something sinister was following them beneath the ice.

Tr3v0r cocked his head, “Sekai do you hear- AHHHH”

Seaki whipped around.

“What?!” she yelled.

They looked behind them. All of the ice they had walked on had melted! They had no way back! They turned back around and something was melting the ice right in front of them.

BLARRRGHHH! An ice dragon burst from the frozen depths. Sekai and Tr3v0r were trapped!

The Dragon stared at them, steam coming off of its scales. It narrowed its blue eyes.

“Your journey ends here.” It growled.

Sekai and Tr3v0r looked at each other, they couldn’t stop here.

“We’re going foreward” Sekai said to the dragon.

The dragon took a great breath and blew, the ice Sekai and Tr3v0r were standing on grew smaller and smaller.

“Wait!” said Sekai.

The dragon stopped blowing, it raised it’s brow, “Yes?”

“What if we made a bet, a challenge.”

“Hmm…”

“If we won, we could pass if you we’d go back.”

The dragon slow smiled, showing off its hundreds of razor sharp teeth.

“Fine. I challenge you to a breath holding contest, first one up for air loses.”

“Deal” said Sekai, it would be impossible to hold her breath longer than an ice dragon but she had to try for her brother’s sake. She got ready to dive VHOOOM! Tr3v0r had already jumped into the water! SHIMPFT the dragon went in right after him. Sekai leaned across the edge looking, she couldn’t see either of them beneath the murky blue.

A minute passes, 5 minutes, ten. Sekai started to get worried, what if Tr3v0r didn’t come up? How long could he hold his breath? 15 minutes passed, 20 minutes passed, 30 minutes passed and FOOM! The dragon burst from the water, sputtering steam.

“Impossible!” it spat, heaving, “I’ve never lost!”

Sekai searched the water for Tr3v0r but couldn’t see him. Did he…?

“Hey!”

Sekai turned around, Tr3v0r was standing behind her, soaking wet.

“Tr3v0r!” she exclaimed, giving him a hug. “How did you…?”

“No lungs” he said smiling.

He tapped his chest, Sekai heard a hollow clank.

“I could’ve stayed down down there forever” he said.

The Dragon stared at the two.

“You may pass” he said grimly.

He dove under the water and swam toward the shore with them on it’s back. The two stepped on the grassy shore. They had entered The Valley of The Fluffy.”

Lailey passed the pencil to Santigo.

“The grass whipped at their shins. The sun warmed their backs. There he sat, on a stump in the middle of the clearing, The Fluffy. The eviliest hamster in all the land.

“Well, well, well” he squeaked “you made it!”

“Where’s my brother” demanded Sekai.

“Oh him?” squeaked The Fluffy “He’s over there.”

“Kado!” Sekai yelled, running towards him.

He was tied up but not hurt.

“Ah, ah, ah” The Fluffy squeaked “Where is my gold and my candy?”

“You’re not getting anything” Tr3v0r said, glaring.

“Oh really?” squeaked The Fluffly “Guards! Get Them!”

Flying sharks rose from the grass and mini dinos appeared. They worked together attacked attacking Sekai and Tr3v0r from above and below. Soon they were covered in cuts and bruises.

One of the sharks head-butted Tr3v0r BEZOOP it clicked his button.  Tr3v0r’s eyes blinked and shut. He turned off. With only one person to fight the dinos and sharks unleashed their full force on Sekai.

“Ahh!” she fell down.

She tried to get up but she was pushed back down again.

“Ha!” laughed The Fluffy, “You thought you could win? You? A small, little girl?”

Sekai fought to get up, she stood shaking then she blasted The Fluffy with her lasers. The dust cleared, it was silent. The Fluffy stood smirking at her.

“I have an invisible shield” he said.

POP! A flying shark known Sekai down. She didn’t know what to do, there were too many of them, she couldn’t possibly win, all hope was lost.

Just then her parent’s words echoed in her mind. We believe in you. Sekai stood up one last time, brushed the dirt off of herself.

“Whoooo” she yelled, “Whoooo”

WHOOM. The Owl from the forest flew above her head, blocking out the sun. SNATCH! It grabbed The Fluffy One and flew off, beyond sight.

“Thank you!” Sekai said

She rushed to free her brother and then turned Tr3v0r back on. She hugged the boys.

“I’m so glad you guys are safe” she said.

They climbed atop the ice dragons back and started on the road back home.”

Khari grabbed pencil.

“The end” she said.

Friday April 10

I came to school today to see Clemantine talk and attend the lunch. I’ve taken Mr. Randolf’s Holocaust and Genocide  and have a particular interest in her story. Oh, in terms of senior project stuff, I think that working at school is more beneficial to me than working form home. There are distractions (my friends are here and there’s a constant flow of people pretty much anywhere you go) but there’s also no beds or other random home things to distract you (should I take Onyx for a walk? Maybe do a load of laundry?) so I think I’m gonna start working there full time, at least until I find myself in a comfortable place in terms of my work (Ha, which knowing me will be never). Anyway back to Clemantine. I felt really weird watching the video of her and her family getting reunited, uncomfortable, that I and the whole nation was watching something so deeply personal and private. As Clemantine teared up at the playback and the audience members cheered I couldn’t help but imagine some unseen producer rubbing their hands together and saying into the mic “Oh this is gold, the ratings for this are gonna be phenomenal” I felt… like I was intruding on something by watching it and even though I think it was AMAZING what Oprah and her team did I still felt, off, so I decided to ask Clemantine about it at the lunch. I sank my teeth into m pizza crust as she spoke, eyes sparkling. She explained to me that the members of the live studio audience for that show were genocide survives themselves; and she said that the moment wasn’t really hers, or rather, wasn’t hers only. She put is more eloquently than this but she said that that moment wasn’t really for her it was for everyone. Like she had a holocaust survivor call her up after the show and say “thank you so much, I needed that”. The closure she got wasn’t just for her but for everyone who wouldn’t ever get closure for their own tragedies. It was a gift for her to share, something bigger than herself; which I loved. She is so humble and so wise at such a young age. I aspire to have some of her grace.  

Thursday April 9

The main thing I got accomplished today was finalizing my outline for my book. Having a set structure will sure that my story follows a logical pattern and hit certain plot points. This is my outline (based on The Hero’s Journey, a way of structuring I learned in Screenwriting)

Ordinary world- defending the world

Call to adventure- ransom letter, prince has been kidnapped, bad guy wants all the gold and candy

Refusal of the call- she’s too young, too weak, isn’t she?

Meeting with mentor- dad gives package before leaving, “I know you can do this”, has packed bag for her (water, food, map, money, rope, whistleà for giant lizard, agrees to save brother

Crossing the threshold- she goes into the wood

Tests, Allies, and Enemies- going through forest has answer huge owl who gives riddles, frees owl, owl, becomes her friend (used to work for bad guy, scoops hamster at the end)

Goes up mountain, snow squirrels roll snowballs that she has to dodge and blast with her laser eyes. Ashe accidentally unfreezes half robot boy from snowball, they become friends

Travel across a lake of ice, lava monster comes the pair solve the conflict nonviolently by talking it out

Approach to innermost cave-  they enter the valley of the fluffy

Ordeal- a fight with Fluffy Cuddlbum himself, he uses flying sharks and mini dinos and he knocks her to the ground, she pulls out her whistle and the owl whisks him off

Reward- she saves her brother

The road back- The 3 make their way back to on a komodo dragon

Wednesday April 8

Today was a success in terms of balancing senior project stuff, stuff I have to do around the house and things I want to do. I think having a written out schedule helped a lot even though towards the end I didn’t really follow it. There’s still some I want to do but overall, I’m happy. I finally settled on a story to work on and have started outlining it using The Hero’s Journey. I went outside and walked in the sun for a while, which was nice. As I was leaving Little Azio’s a bunch of kids came in, there were maybe eight of them ranging in ages two to nine, and they were mostly boys, black, white, and mixed. Some of the kids were in uniform, some weren’t and I was really confused about what the group was. I couldn’t be a class trip or a playgroup ‘cause the ages were too far apart. There were two women with them but the kids didn’t really pay them any mind after telling them what they wanted to eat so it was unlikely that they were a family, plus, when the two year old started crying the other kids looked at her with that mildly irritated indifference that people have when it’s someone’s child. I think that maybe they were a carpool group? Anyway one of the older kids was trying to tell the other older on about one of the younger kids who could whip (it’s a dance) the little raven haired kid was stone-faced as he did it, almost solemn in his concentration. And seeing that juxtaposed with the giant smile that spread across his face when all his friends cheered him and tried to help him get better made me happy. I realized that part of the reason I did this senior project is that I have this urge to be young again. To return to that place of sunshine and smiles. Maybe this book will give me a piece of that.

Tuesday April 7

There is a grand difference between waking up and getting up. The time in between could span several hours on a good day. Today was one of those days, everything kind of moved in slow motion, whether I was still used to the languid lifestyle of the Miami resort or just don’t have the energy like I used to have is still being decided but I managed to be some what productive. I organized some stuff for my neighbor and also wrote for a few hours before attending my friend’s birthday dinner. I’m a really big fan of food. I spent four plus hours looking at different food instas and it made me think about food and kids, more specifically the kid’s menu. Almost any restaurant, even the best of the best, will feature a kid’s menu where you can see items such as chicken fingers and French fries, a hamburger, maybe mac and cheese. Often these menu items stay the same regardless when it comes to the restaurant’s cuisine, and this got me thinking about how we perceive children’s preferences when it comes to food and whether or not we’re limiting their palate by relying on the tried and true options.

    Now I was a ridiculously picky eater growing up and I still am pretty picky now- anything that’s too wet (salad dressings, soups), anything with mushrooms, anything chocolate (except for box brownies made “cake like”, Publix brand cupcakes, and Cosmic Brownies with the icing peeled off), etc,etc I won’t eat it. But my mom loves good food and when I was younger, I’d go to dinner with her and try whatever she was eating. While some of my cousins and friends were explicitly told to only look at the kid’s menu, I was encouraged to look at the whole thing.

   While I tended to gravitate toward what was familiar (chicken fingers and French fries) I also took chances to try things that were a little out of my comfort zone. I felt empowered because I knew, that if worse came to worst and it was, as my 8-year-old self would day “totally gross”, then I wouldn’t have to eat it, it would just serve as an experience, another opportunity to develop my palate; I could just get something else. This privilege of trying new things is one most parents won’t, or unfortunately can’t, give. For one it takes longer and there’s some risk factor involved. Are you going to let your hungry and irritated 9 year old try the ricotta pancakes when you know there’s a 60% chance she wont like it? Are you prepared to deal with the possible breakdown? And the 20 plus minutes of waiting for her oatmeal to come out, the thing you probably should’ve ordered for her in the first place? And it’s also expensive, you’re essentially running the risk of buying two dinners for your child(ren) every time you go out. And its one thing when it’s a small plate and you can just eat it there or something easily reheated like pasta, but another when it’s rose water sorbet, which will undoubtedly, melt into a $12 puddle on the way home.

    But I still think that parents should try to constantly expose their kids to new things, using a positive pressure; not the old school “eat all this or you’re not leaving the table”. My Nana tried that when I wouldn’t eat collard greens (too wet) and I fell asleep at the table that night, when she came back a couple hours later to check on me I had arranged all the chairs to make a bed and used place mats as my covers. She rolled her eyes and chuckled “what am I a going to do with you?” as I made myself a pb&j and skipped off, munching on my success.

     One time when I was younger I remember being at my godbrother’s house and his Dad, Duane was trying to get me to eat this plum jam. I was a strictly grape jelly girl back then and the prospect of putting plum on my toast seemed horrifying. I wasn’t having it.

‘C’mon’, Duane said, smearing the tiniest bit on a corner of my toast, ‘try it.’

‘Ky It’s really good’ my mom said, crumbs raining from her hand for emphasis, ‘just one little bite.’

I eyed the toast warily. They began to chant, frat boy style.

‘Try it! Try it! Try it!’

‘Ahh!’, I yelled, and bit into the bread wincing, expecting an onslaught of ew to fill my mouth. Instead… it was great Better than grape even! My mom and Duane stared at me, eyes wide and expecting.

‘Not bad’, I crunched ‘I like it.’

I smiled as they whooped in victory. The whole point of this, or is supposed to be, choice is good. In literature and in food. Your kid might like risotto better than they like mac and cheese and your kid might like lamb kabobs and rice pilaf better than chicken fingers and French fries but you’ll never know unless you let them try. Give your kids choice, your seven year old will have the most sophisticated palate on the block.

Monday April 6

I said a bittersweet goodbye to Miami. In a way, I was strangely relieved. The pulsing whiteness of the hotel, the soft soothing music, the ever-flowing supply of cucumber water, the sun that never got too  hot, beautiful people all around me, it seemed like a very generic version of heaven; that or a really nice limbo. Either way I felt stagnant, placid, I had to constantly remind myself that no, this wasn’t summer and no, napping by the pool for four hours probably wasn’t the best idea. I had this cloud of apprehension hanging over me the whole time, it was a small cloud, but it reminded me that I had SO MUCH WORK TO DO STILL. I felt guilty about wanting to relax and then irritated that I couldn’t enjoy my vacation fully. I had this antsy feeling, like I was bracing myself, ‘cause I knew that as soon I as I got home the work would slam me and the deadline would be looming even closer. I got settled at home around 7ish and started to write. The trip had left my mind somewhat of a blank slate (good if you’re a stressed out businessperson, not good if you’re me and you need to come up with good ideas). I scrolled insta for inspiration for a while, alternating between liking pictures and jotting down ideas. I ended with an ehh draft of a story but it has some good bones. I went to bed just before 6.

Friday April 3 (4 things I learned in Miami)

1. Packing at 4 something in the morning isn’t always a bad idea. 2. Getting out of the Miami airport takes longer than the flight to Miami itself. 3. Luxury is white marble and fruit water- and everything is white so everybody looks more tan in comparison oh my gosh I just got it. 4. The moon over the sea, soft yellow, gentle and looming, makes the perfect companion for the scratch of your pen(cil).

Thursday (the 2nd)

Today in the bookstore this older (like grandpa age), very passionate man was talking about how sad he was that he couldn’t read all the good books in his lifetime, and then he said something that really stuck with me; it was something along the lines of “I can open it [the book] at random, and give it five minutes; but give it everything I got for those five minutes.” He asked the woman behind the counter “how often do we give something a full five minutes?” And he’s right, as I walked out of the store, sidestepping apathetic cats and precariously piled books, I thought about it. How often do we devote time, just five minutes, solely to a task? Yes, you’re doing homework but  you’re also listening to music. Yes, you’re talking to your wife but you’re also wondering if you need to buy tomato sauce at the grocery store for that recipe you wanted to try tonight. I mean, you already have tomato paste, isn’t that the same thing? (it’s not)

       For me, staying focused isn’t the problem. Staying focused on just one thing is. That’s why I love reading. There’s no labor involved, I don’t have to hoist myself onto the thing I’m supposed to be focusing on because there’s nothing else to focus on. For me, it’s as easy as walking or breathing.

I open one of the books I got, and give it five minutes.

To Whom It May Concern (and to Mr. Newman, who is very concerned)

To Whom It May Concern (and to Mr. Newman, who is very concerned): Hi! Sorry I haven’t been blogging regularly, I swear I’ve been doing stuff! I track my time using screenshots and hurriedly scribbled notes in whatever notebook is closest to me at the time. Then I compile everything and write the blog post and daily log into my Notebook and THEN  I put it on my blog online. Of late I’ve been feeling productive because I’ve “blogged” but haven’t actually put the thing on the internet. It’s gonna be posted in a few huge chunks instead of the normal little bits but you’ll still be able to see my progress (and many struggles). Sorry again for not doing it the usual way.

Wednesday

Today was good. I ate waffles, wrote and saw Home. In the movie when the mom is looking for Tip she describes her, it made me realize that this was the first I’ve heard the phrase “beautiful brown skin” used in a children’s movie. “Skin as white as snow” is etched into my mind as well as Rapunzel’s long, blonde hair and the importance of it but this was the first time I’ve heard positives about a feature that I myself had (besides in Aladdin when he’s talking about Jasmine’s “big, brown eyes” and actually my eyes are rather small, but anyway). I’ve always known that representation (positive, consistent representation) is important but sitting next to two little black girls and watching them hear that little piece of dialogue (that one line!) that didn’t exist when I was a kid, made me all the more passionate to keep doing this work. I myself felt validated, I walked out of the theater smiling. Heck yeah my skin is beautiful.